Jimmy’s Pharm Facts : A Christmas Tale

jimmy blog picture christmas taleThis December I’d like to tell you a Christmas Tale. But before I begin, I need to preface this story by letting you know this account strongly errs on the side of provoking my child to anger rather than doing to them as I would want them to do to me, if you get my drift.

I’m not exactly sure what year this took place but I would guess my kids were probably in the 5-15 year range. This particular Christmas my wife and I taped a $100 bill to the Christmas tree for each of our children. I don’t quite remember if we had some extra cash on hand that year or if we didn’t have time to shop but taping $100 bills to the tree was not something we often did. I do remember my youngest child being unimpressed with her $100 and I’m pretty sure my oldest already had plans for his $100 from the moment he saw it.   My middle child was….well she was in utter disbelief that she had a $100 bill, an actual $100 bill not different denominations that added up to $100 but an actual $100 bill. She was so excited about it that she took it to show the whole family…Grandmother, Grandfather, cousins, aunts, uncles etc…when we went for lunch. She had her $100 bill in her lap and when we got to Mama Chris’ house (that’s what they called my Mother) she was so distracted by seeing her cousins that she just hopped out of the car and the $100 bill fell to the ground….abandoned, forgotten. After some time passed my daughter remembered her $100 bill and panic struck. She began to frantically look around, darting back and forth, going outside and back in again and when I asked what she was looking for I got the answer “oh nothing”. Unbeknownst to her, I witnessed the dropping of the bill, picked it up, and tucked it away to reveal at the opportune time. I let her continue on a bit and then I held up the $100 bill and asked is this the “nothing” you were looking for? I told her that if she had lost her money anywhere else it would be “Poof gone” and at that moment I tore the $100 bill in half. (This is where the provoking my child to anger part comes in!) She was so mad at me and yet as stone-faced as could be. The look on her face and the fear of what was to come made me realize the error of my way so I went inside and taped it back together. I told her it was still good but she would NOT have it! Her bubble was burst, her thunder was stolen, her hard headedness had been maxed out and then… she told my wife and Mother. Oh the misery!! Luckily, Daddy, as in my Daddy, had another $100 bill on hand and I was able to smooth things over.

So, what’s the moral of this sad and embarrassing little story, well basically, it’s a lesson….a lesson of what NOT to do for Christmas and a reminder that you might pay for mistakes for years to come. I know because I’ve been paying for years….in $100 bills.

Merry Christmas!

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